Get your motor runnin

The good thing about having an upswing mood is that one gets a shitload of things done.

The not so good thing is that one's ability to concentrate is kind of shot to hell.

For sure it is better than any artificial "high" there is. (But the "hangovers" suck more too.)

There's some new progress in the making-friends front. Some months ago, husband discovered that an old acquaintance of his was now living across the street. And I knew his wife because she started working at son's kindergarten while son was still there. They seemed like nice people.

Last Sunday they invited us for a barbecue over at their place and it went so well that I actually invited them over for this Sunday and they said yes. Feel anxious and excited about this.

Call of the Wild

This week marks 60 years of democracy here, and there's several shows on TV about it.

I urged son to watch one for kids, in order to learn a bit more about the country he lives in. "For the next 10 years." he says.

10 years?

"Until I'm 18," he explained. "I'll leave then."

Pause Button

Things are ok for now.

No major dramas, just the usual little ones.

A chance to recuperate before the next onslaught.

Would LOVE to keep it that way.

Back to the Future

My normal emotional condition can be described as languishing in the swamps of low-level depression.



Quitting always jumpstarts my mood-pendulum.
Naturally this has its own set of problems.

But I think I'll just enjoy the ride for now. :)

What is different

This round feels different than the one I went through a couple of years ago. Withdrawals don't seem as severe. Probably because I keep myself well supplied with sugar and caffeine. ;)

And maybe because I'm realizing some things I hadn't understood before.

For one: I've attached way too many positive feelings to drinking, to the point where I feel like I'm "depriving" myself of something by staying sober. And I will continue to lapse back to the habit as long as I continue to believe this.

So right now I'm just trying to focus on all the wonderful things I am depriving of myself by drinking.

I abstain

I've managed to kick some tough habits in the past by learning to associate pain with using and pleasure with quitting. It's even helped me stop drinking for long bits of time.

But unlike other habits, this one never seems to stay licked. I, invariably, end up convincing myself again that I need this habit.



What I forget to add is that I need it like a hole in the head.

I finally feel strong enough to give this fight another try.

Ok, not for all

Alfie left us. We tried our best but he was too wild. He would screech every time we approached his den and he escaped at the first opportunity. I guess it wasn't meant to be. I hope he's well.

Son had a Bring-your-Pet-to-School-day, so I took one of the remaining two with us and stayed for the duration of the lesson. It was the first time I appeared there ever since the classroom-aide took over. There were a couple of dogs, a pair of birds, some mice and a few guinea pigs. I noticed that the neglected kid's shoes had finally fallen apart. His toes were peaking out front.

I took our Frieda (previously known as Question Mark) home and went shopping. I got the kid a pair of shoes and I packed a small bag with clothes. It was 7 pm when I finally got to his house, he was alone. The house was a mess. A much bigger mess than mine.

I showed him the stuff and asked if he had any use for them. He did. I left as soon as I could.

While driving home I thought I heard my heart break.

And Pralines for All

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mom, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."

The Day After

Haven't left. Just having some hard time communicating.

Hi in den Mai

The IRS sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."

"Yes," answered the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.

"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...

"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."

"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.

"So, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"

"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the IRS ."

"To the IRS ?" questioned the auditor in disbelief.

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "directly to The IRS ...And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."