My work at school doesn't only have an educational aspect, it has a social aspect as well. Son can be a pretty good friend, but he has trouble making friends. Ever since his first batch of friendships had died off, I've been feeling pressured to come up with a solution for him.
At first I invited another "outsider" kid from his class. You know, in the past I used to scoff at the thought of childhood bipolar, now I'm not so sure. Lets say... I wouldn't be terribly surprised if L. would be diagnosed as such one day. I've not problem with it obviously, but the playdates were another matter. They were the most exhausting we've ever had, and we've had our share.
Then I invited another kid, who turned out to be too normal. On top of it, he and son had no common interests, so I had to spend the afternoon entertaining him.
Ok, blind inviting folks wasn't working here, so I took a step back. Then son's class took a field trip to a bookstore. That's when I noticed that, while most of the kids were clamoring at the children's book section, my son and one other boy were looking through gardening books. Hmmmm.
Needless to say those playdates went pretty well, while I ended up having long conversations with the kid's mother, a fairly likable person. Now that hasn't happened to me in years and years. A good thing, right? Dunno. I don't feel at all up to having a proper friendship right now and frankly I'm freaked.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
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9 comments:
JAYSUS ;;? - ? - a - a Human!
"Freaked"?
Why? Seriously: What freaks you out with that contact?
Die Bilder sind in Deinem Kopf ... es geht doch darum, wie Du und die Deinen wahrgenommen werden? Also um Steuerung dieser Fremd-Wahrnehmung. Das kannst Du nur beeinflussen dadurch, wie Du Dich präsentierst. Und so wie Ich Dich einschätze, wird das sehr angenehm sein.
Die Auswirkungen auf Dich selbst - dazu kann ich nichts sagen, denn weder bin ich ein Psychologe, noch kenne ich Deine Ängste.
Ich glaube aber, dass Du gut beraten bist, wenn Du auf Dich selbst vertraust. Amnda, Du bist jemand, Du hast einen langen Weg hinter Dir, Du hast einen Haufen Erfahrung und Wissen - schau' Dich um, hab' keine Angst. Du weißt doch - nur was Du zulässt kann Dich treffen.
(Und manchmal tut's wirklich scheiße weh.)
Well I can relate to your concerns about starting/developing a new friendship, Amanda. They can be so time-consuming and the outcome is so iffy. I'm a bit of a hermit and my past girlfriend experiences have left me a bit gunshy. Internet friends are so much more "user friendly"! :-)
I can relate to the being able to be a friend but having trouble making friends. I'm very much the same way. Though I tend to hold people at arm's length even when I've befriended them.
I can recall seeing the first bipolar symptoms in myself when I was 9 years old. This is when I began to have the first signs of puberty. My boobs, such as they are, started developing, and I started getting hair in my armpits and on the old pubic area. I became a lot more emotionally volatile. I didn't get my period till I was 12, and that's when the flood gates open for the bipolar, so to speak. But the first glimpse was there at nine.
You are right of course Mago, and thank you for speaking up.
Josie and Lily pegged it, past experiences can make one apprehensive about what can happen.
As our resident therapist would say, here goes that "what if" again.
It's sad to say that things are very different today. Friendships are far and few between.
But I agree with the fact that I, too freak about starting a friendship with others. Maybe its because of my battle with bipolar, I dunno.
Childhood Bipolar on the other hand is very real. I have talked about this with my shrink many times.
Unfortunately, society doesn't want to open their eyes to it and the only one who suffers is the child.
A new friend sounds lovely! I am not sure if I understand what the problem there is... Frienship should go on both of your terms and it shouldn't be too consuming.
I had to smile in sympathy at the "what if" syndrome. You will find my name by that in the dictionary! :-) But I'm trying hard to change that into "why not?" Sometimes we just have to go for broke, even if we end up broken again. It's human nature to hope and to reach out. Scary though, I know!
I don't have a child... especially in your situation. But I, like dreamwriter, feel some initial tension with getting to know new friends because of my having bipolar. Like, how do you tell them? How long do you keep it low profile before you've known them so long that it's a well-kept deep secret? It can be scary to make yourself vulnerable to new people. But maybe if you do, you might end up with a life-long friend. You never know, right?
I can relate. I am quite guarded with people mainly because I don't like it when people who I've become friendly with, try to imply just how much they know me by revealing things about me that they've either been told by me, or that they have noticed about me. It's what I fear and dislike about friendships. It unsettles me because then I fear 'What if I've revealed too much and they'll somehow use it against me?' Does that make any sense..lol
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